I believe in miracles…

So I’m just going to share a few thoughts really quickly because I’m supposed to be packing for some Christian camp this weekend, and in my typically organized fashion, I haven’t really even started yet. My sleeping bag and about fifty pairs of clean undies are all in a pile in the corner of my room, but…uh…yeah. Not a damn thing else. Yay me.

So random thoughts;

On the Transformers; Saw it, loved it, wanna see it again at some point. Between this and The Simpsons Movie, I may be on my way to getting my precious Jolt-spotted geek card back. All that I need now is one more good comic book movie(not the Unfantastic Four…talk about disappointment. I mean, how do you mess up the Silver Surfer? It’s the only existential comic book character ever, all he really has to do is ride through buildings on the board and talk Zen. But noooo…).

Anyway, the Transformers. I’ve always been struck, even as a kid, by how unfair the whole Autobots vs. Decepticons thing always is. Look at it this way; The Decepticons are a couple of jets, a tank, a police car, a helicopter, and a big scorpion that busts up out of the sand and kills *everybody*.

The Autobots are a busted-up Camaro, an ambulance, and an 18-wheeler. Tell me, what exactly does an ambulance do when confronted by a 20 foot long murderous mechanical scorpion? Shoot bandages? And I know there’s other vehicles in the lineup, but the point is that from a military perspective, they are all equally lame and there’s no way that the good guys should ever win.

And yet they do. *Let me check my pocket protector and memorize another digit of pi and three more Star Trek episodes before I move on to the next topic*

On annoying habits; People say your environment shapes you; I’m definitely seeing the effects of that. Actually, scratch that. I say my environment shapes me, and I say that because I’m picking up some annoying social habits caused by the massive readjustment of my social circles to include primarily women, and Christian women at that. Nothing wrong with Christian women, I am one. But we have funny habits, most of which I said I’d never have, and now I do.

Annoying habit 1; I talk about things I really don’t care about. I genuinely and sincerely don’t want to know anything about Friends, the difference between a ballet flat and a regular flat(I can’t wear either anyway), or anybody else’s menstrual cycle.  There are about six billion other things in the world that I would rather talk about at any given moment, yet for some reason I find myself sitting through conversations that begin with the sentence, “I think I’m due on” and end with the sentence, “Rachel wore ballet flats, didn’t she?” Even worse, I take part. See, Rachel didn’t wear ballet flats, she wore unwarranted entitlement and hopelessly warped moral values. Much prettier, right? Everybody’s wearing those these days.

Annoying habit 2; I have actually prayed for people who have real and urgent personal problems that are ruining their lives…to find husbands. Not because I thought it was a good idea, but because they asked. Because a man with a matching set of emotional luggage is always the solution in this strange new world. I don’t think that this one needs any further explanation as to why it’s annoying.

Annoying habit 3; This is related slightly to number 2. I’m always trying to create(meaning talk people into) couples among my friends. Any little friendly thing is cause to say, “so what’s with you a so-and-so? Seeing a lot of each other lately? Wink wink, nudge nudge…”

Now considering the size and weight of the case I catch whenever anyone does this to me, I know better. However…well, there’s really no excuse. It’s just that it’s easier to go along with what I think is the majority rule and become relationship-obsessed than it is to risk talking about something else and get back a blank stare and a topic switch that usually takes the form of, “I’ve accomplished everything in life that I want to except getting married.” or even worse, “I’m praying for my mate.” Ew. What are you, a mantis? Everytime someone I met three seconds ago decides to say something like this, I want to say please get a life, and the rest will sort itself out. I think.  Not that I can throw stones, since I’m largely lacking in a life at this point in mine, but still. This brings me to the next topic.

On intellectual conversation; I really long for some.  Like something with depth and body to it. I don’t care about the topic so much, but it needs to be deep. Or at least pretentious. At this point, I would even settle for obscure. It’s not that I’m never around intellectual or deep people, it’s that I don’t really know anybody I’m around very well, and they don’t know me. People tend to have those types of conversations with people that they really know, not virtual strangers.  But the next time someone that I do know, albeit not well, walks up and asks me about the weather, I may just pass out from boredom. Please. SAVE ME. Have you seen how dirty these streets I’d land on are? I may catch six different communicable diseases just from unfulfilling conversation, and nobody wants that, do they?

Last subject…

On major minor miracles; So y’all know I live off of savings(meager) and donations(equally meager), right? In the past week, between four different people, I’ve received over 300 pounds in completely random and unsolicited gifts from folks both here and in the US. Believe me, I needed it. God is very good.

Now, because I am really stuck on this Transformers thing, I’m going to share one of my favorite clips from one of my favorite shows, the brilliant stop-motion classic-in-the-making Robot Chicken.  Oh, who am I kidding? Robot Chicken is juvenile, random, rude, and probably offensive. It also makes me just about wet myself laughing during every episode.

Anyway, the creators obviously watched too many cartoons as kids too…


4 responses

  1. Because a man with a matching set of emotional luggage is always the solution in this strange new world.


    You never have to worry about this prayer for me. 🙂

    I do love reading your blog.

  2. I cannot eve count how many times you made me literally laugh out loud. I started to repeat some line, but there were too many.

    You have definitely perfected the art of wry.

  3. As for the need for deep convos, personally, I refuse to get caught up in small talk. And I’m guessing that those you think talk deep — but only with those they know better — well, I think that their capablity for depth should supercede a need to know a person in order to engage. Wouldn’t yours?

    On second thought, I can’t help but mention this one, “See, Rachel didn’t wear ballet flats, she wore unwarranted entitlement and hopelessly warped moral values.” You kill me.

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