I haven’t blogged in a while, and I really don’t feel like it right now, but I feel like I owe my few followers a few words to prove that I am really alive and kicking. That said, here is a random list of 5 for your Thursday viewing…
1)I am bloody DEPRESSED. I haven’t been depressed in a long time and forgot what it felt like. It sucks. How on earth did I walk around feeling like this all the time for 27 years and not commit any minor crimes? Ugh. I’m also grouchy as hell all of the time lately, which explains the four further items…
2)No no no! What is this? BLASPHEMY, I tell you!
3)I am all for trying new things and covering classic songs in your own way, but Afro-Blue should sound like this;
4)I cannot WAIT to leave Denver. For me, it’s become a place to visit, not to live. Also, I really can’t with the silly people per capita in my current suburb.
5)At least all of my brooding and griping has resulted in some startling grown woman realizations concerning family and God(separately, not together). I’ll be posting my ruminations soon, if I can manage to stay out of jail.
6)Eh, whatever, let’s make it a list of 6. I have gone on and on on this blog about Junsu Kim and his startling good-looking-ness but apparently, this guy was in the band with him the whole time and I. Never. Noticed.
Dear Lord, if you’re listening, let me run into one or two dudes with diverse energy like this while I’m in Korea. THAT guy is way out of my league, of course but can one of his fanboys be my mailman or something? Just so I can get hype off of complementary male energy rather than being the world-expanding hype woman date for a change? Just saying, Lord. A Bane mask as fashion statement is hard to find, and I appear to be going somewhere where it might be possible.
Okay, I find myself marginally less grumpy for having written 6 silly things. Let me go throw myself at the world before it wears off.
Peace, beautiful people!
I have a naturally sunny disposition.
Yeah, I know. I’m just as surprised as you.
More after the jump…
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Yeah, so it’s official. I am a terrible person(personne/사람). A terrible person who is hanging on to my attempts to become trilingual because that may be all that redeems me. Excuse the vocabulary practice, then, please..
So what happened was this. I was speaking to someone on the subject of another person, who happened to be in the first person’s house(maison/집). First Person said, “Oh, Other Person is here…didn’t you two have an um, thing?”
I didn’t even think about my response. It just fell out of my mouth. “Yep, I hate her.”
What? What! WHAT!? “I hate her”? I hate her? WTF! I’m me. I don’t hate anybody, except for maybe The Man, and I don’t really even hate him…I just want him to go down because I stuck it to him.
Needless to say, me saying that I hated anything, let alone another human being, really disturbed me. I don’t do hate. I don’t even do nasty. I am the original annoying lily-throwingpacifist. I have literally let someone hit me with small noxious projectiles rather than fight back because I believe just that much in passive resistance(or at least, I used to). So how is it, that all of a sudden, I just casually hate folks? And mean it, too?
Well, if you ask some folks, it’s Jesus’ fault. And that brings me, however indirectly, to the topic of today’s post.
The story so far, after the jump…
I have absolutely nothing to say.
No, now, wait. Y’all know me better than that. I have plenty to say, but I’m going to keep it to a bare minimum…
From the When Keeping It Spiritually Real Goes Wrong file…
It’s not that I want to be alone. It’s just that I don’t want to be around other people.
The other night, I had the adult version of a temper tantrum, which is basically just going to my room, shutting myself in, and lying on the bed, in the dark, staring at the ceiling thinking increasingly morbid thoughts. I’ve done this before. It’s never pretty.
Even I occasionally get tired of saying, “O, what a mood I’m in” from time to time though, and to do that this time seems like it would be really selfish. I know a lot of people, and it seems like most of them are having a hard time in one way or another. Friends are homeless, friends are struggling with poor health, homesick, lonely, alienated, depressed, and just generally stretched to their breaking point. This is the kind of thing that isn’t helped by well-meaning advice, or even a well-meaning shoulder to cry on, so it certainly isn’t going to help for me to put on my resident depressed person hat and talk about things from my typical myopic perspective.
Still, I feel as though I should be doing something. What, I don’t know, but certainly something.
So much for insightful, relevant, effective blogging.