Eh, meh. You win some, you lose some.
Turns out I’ve lost a tooth, some friends and quite a lot of faith and sanity this year but HEY! Not dead yet. Things can get better, and they will.
One of the things that helps me gain perspective when I’m feeling down is songs like this one…
So let’s get the song of the day out of the way first. Not all that related to today’s posting(or is it?), but the chorus lyric has always gotten to me a little bit, and it’s the song that’s playing right now.
So, to briefly recap the last post…my crisis of faith came to a slimy little head a few years ago. I was working–volunteering, really–for a Christian charity, and the “team” that I was working for began to treat me quite shittily, only with a shiny religious veneer, so it all seemed OK. Some bad things happened that mattered enormously to me, but very little to anyone else. I blamed myself, mostly, and after leaving and having even worse things happen, I apparently developed a hateful bitter little core which showed up this week when I said, without thinking, that I hated someone.
I’ve never said that I’ve hated someone. Ideologies, things and The Man all catch it in the neck from me, but generally speaking, I don’t even dislike people, let alone hate.
This worries me, as does the fact that God doesn’t really seem to care very much about all of this and has pretty much left me to my own devices. And all of this has led friends, one in particular, to ask me just how and why it is that I am still a Christian after all of this?
Here’s why, after the jump…
This must be the most violently purple template ever created for public use. I realllllllllly need to sort out something better.
So as usual, I have tons on my mind and absolutely no time to really blog about it. Or even really think about it. Hence the reason I’ve been wandering from place to place in a daze for the last few weeks looking like I need a helmet to travel by stair safely.