Eh, meh. You win some, you lose some.
Turns out I’ve lost a tooth, some friends and quite a lot of faith and sanity this year but HEY! Not dead yet. Things can get better, and they will.
One of the things that helps me gain perspective when I’m feeling down is songs like this one…
So although I tend to post most of my more spiritual writing over here, I’m very aware that more people read this blog than that one. At times like today, when I feel I have something more interesting to say, I’ll post here anyway. Eventually the two roads will diverge in the wilderness, or something like that.
Anyway, lately I’ve been having a lot of wildly contrasting conversations. People are just all very different to each other, and that’s that. The strange thing is, those differences all seem to emerge from the same motivations, ultimately.
On my twitter feed the other day, I posted this:
I’m starting to realize that for a lot of people belief=control. Doesn’t matter what the belief is in.
There were a few responses, but what prompted the tweet was talking to two very different people.
It’s not that I want to be alone. It’s just that I don’t want to be around other people.
The other night, I had the adult version of a temper tantrum, which is basically just going to my room, shutting myself in, and lying on the bed, in the dark, staring at the ceiling thinking increasingly morbid thoughts. I’ve done this before. It’s never pretty.
Even I occasionally get tired of saying, “O, what a mood I’m in” from time to time though, and to do that this time seems like it would be really selfish. I know a lot of people, and it seems like most of them are having a hard time in one way or another. Friends are homeless, friends are struggling with poor health, homesick, lonely, alienated, depressed, and just generally stretched to their breaking point. This is the kind of thing that isn’t helped by well-meaning advice, or even a well-meaning shoulder to cry on, so it certainly isn’t going to help for me to put on my resident depressed person hat and talk about things from my typical myopic perspective.
Still, I feel as though I should be doing something. What, I don’t know, but certainly something.
So much for insightful, relevant, effective blogging.